Ever since I moved to QLD things just haven't been the same.
Me and Jason recently came down to NSW for a visit and while i've been down things just haven't felt right. I thought that things would feel different, that I would feel different, possibly more like myself again but instead this whole time i've felt less like myself. Everytime I come down to visit I feel as if i'm drifting further and further away from everyone especially my friends and it sucks because I guess I thought that even though I was in another state we'd all stay really good friends. I know I have Jasons friends but are they really my friends? How do I know they're not just being so nice to me because i'm Jasons gf? Well that's just it I don't know. But I will admit though, they have treated me better in the past year than my friends ever have in the past 5.
The past 2 weeks were supposed to be so fun, I was supposed to catch up with all my friends and just have a blast but instead the past 2 weeks have been okay, filled with a few good days but overall pretty shit. I feel like I don't even really know my friends anymore or maybe they don't wanna know me who knows but either way it's so shit. Everyone needs their own friends and the thought that my friends may not want to be mine anymore really hurts.
Over the past couple of days i've been starting to think that maybe I should just stay in QLD for good and start over, forget about my old life and concentrate on my new life with Jason. My friends hardly try and get in touch with me anyway and they're always letting me down so would it be that great a loss for either of us? Maybe I just haven't gotten the hint yet. I don't know if it's me, if it's them or if it's just life that's slowly drifting us apart but I think I need to make a decision, once again i've come to a cross roads; do i keep coming back to see people who may or may not even care if I ever come back or move on with my life, embrace what I have up in QLD and make new friends? I have no idea.
People grow up, move on and make new friends all the time, as my mum would say "God just has a bigger plan for you" but I don't know if I really believe that. Why would someone who can create life care about mine? Why would someone who has bigger problems to worry about like poverty care about mine? Why would someone who has so much power care about me? Why would God have a bigger plan for me? What's so special about me? Nothing. So yeah I don't know if I really believe that.
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Gotta love being Anonymous, anywho.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this nonsense about being unsure if Jasons mates are even yours or we are just being nice because you're his girl friend.
I think I'm pretty much speaking for all of his mates when I say we are your friend as much as we are his and not for the reason of being his gf, you're just a nice person and nice people makes great friends (:. But about your mates that's pretty slack, they could of at least made some kind of effort seeing as you're not in NSW anymore (I know some did).
But perhaps you should find some 'decent' people to hang with in QLD, remember quality not quantity, just don't forget us down in NSW (the good state).
But all that aside, you guys may eventually move back here in the whether it be 6months or 6years at least you'll know you'll have some people you can count on.
So hurry up get your course done, find a job in NSW, get your own apartment so we can party at yours, just kidding (:.
Focus on your own self, what exactly do you want from life, hard question as it may seem but mostly everyone has some kind of answer.
ANONYMOUS #1 :D